Cats, Gay, and Neck Kisses, Oh My!
by JackalopeStories
Summary: In which John is super weird and Dave is pretty okay with it. (New part every Tuesday!)
1. A Long Day

"This fuckin' suuuuuuucks," I draw out the syllable, just to show off my annoyance to nobody in particular. I'm alone in my apartment. Bro left a while ago for "work." He's probably at some gay strip club or some shit like that. Just then I hear the doorbell ring. I stand up, and it occurs to me that I should probably put on a shirt. I grab my sweaty-ass record shirt off the table as I open the door to an unexpected visitor.

"Dave!" John shouts my name as if he hasn't seen me in a century. He runs up and hugs me tight and oh my god he's so warm. He lets go and I definitely don't miss him no you shut up. "What's going on, dude?" he stands on his toes, looking at me expectantly with his sparkly blue eyes, his adorable little button nose and warm, soft-looking lips and I'm rambling again aren't I.

"Uh, yeah. Hey bro," I let him in, taking his jacket and hanging it up on the hook. I turn around to find him already on the couch, watching some shitty sitcom. I sneak over to him, making sure to stay in his peripheral vision. I look at his pupils. They're dilated to three times their normal size. They almost completely blot out his irises. He cocks his head, fixing his beanie over his head. Come to think of it, I've never seen him without that thing. I reach out to touch it and he jumps three fucking feet into the air I swear to god.

"Dave!" he's breathing fast breaths and his eyes are still dilated. He looks utterly fucking terrified. He looks so scared I just want to hug him.

My expressions softens. "John I…" I don't know what to say. He's curled in on himself, whispering to himself. "John…" I inch closer to him. His pupils remain dilated. Okay I have to admit that's really fucking adorable. I wrap an arm around him and he jumps again. "John, do you need a tender bro embrace?" He blushes and opens up his arms to me.

"I think I do," he mumbles. I pull him in to the tenderest TBE to ever exist. He fucking melts into me and starts humming. He's like a human space heater. I catch a glance at his eyes. They're half-lidded. They flicker closed and I can clearly hear now that his humming is actually

purring.

John fucking Egbert is cuddling me and he's purring and oh my god what's happening now. He's kissing my neck. John fucking Egbert is cuddling me and purring and kissing my neck and I think I

like it.

Now you're probably thinking "Well no shit Dave did you think we didn't hear how you were going on about how cute he is?" Well shut the fuck up. Feelings are hard, asshole. I didn't know I liked him. Anyway.

He keeps kissing my neck and purring and I have a feeling… I pull up his beanie.

Cat ears. He has cat ears. In similar fashion to John's thirteenth birthday, I have a feeling it's going to be a _long_ day.


	2. So That's how it Happened

"John…what the hell kind of…" I started. I reach out to touch one ear, and it flicks away a few times before I touch it. The fur is _breathtakingly_ soft. And I barely even touched it. This kid's head is like a goddamn brand new comforter made out of chinchilla fur and duckling down feathers. "Jesus Christ, John. That's just…wow," I have nothing else to say. He looks down at me and his ears turn down like when a kitten is scared and I know he's terrified but oh my god he's just so fucking adorable. I scoot over to him, reaching a hand out shakily. His eyes are dilated enormously, just like when he was watching that sitcom earlier.

"Dave…I don't think this is a good ide-rrrrrrrrrrrrr…" his voice rolls into a loud purr as I stroke his ears. He leans into my touch and oh my god he's so warm. He starts to lean back further toward me, crawling into my lap and nuzzling into my chin. A faint blush spreads across his cheeks but definitely not mine nope nuh-uh no way fuck you. He lowers his ears and his pupils dilate wider and I swear to god his cuteness factor just went up by 300,000%. "You're okay with the whole…ears thing?" he gulps. If there's one thing I can't deal with its an upset John.

"Yeah, dude, it's cool!" I throw my hands up, losing my badass Strider stoicism in a moment of weakness. He looks up at me, all innocent and curious and my heart _melts_.

"Really?" he asks in the cutest happy voice anybody's ever heard ever. He throws his arms around my neck and pulls me into another Tender Bro Embrace. He buries his face in my neck and I think I know what about to happen oh yup I was right. He's kissing up and down my neck, purring and nuzzling and rubbing his cheek against mine. He looks ecstatic. He's having the time of his goddamn life raping my neck. I close my eyes and subconsciously extend my neck for him. He nips at me and purrs, sucking at a few specific places on my neck. He bites down harder than he has been. The noise that comes out of mouth turns me quite literally the colour of my shirt sleeves. He pulls away, as if that was some kind of wake-up call.

"Oh my god, Dave I'm so sorry." He pulls away and sits on the other end of the couch. "I…I should just go," he begins to stand up, but I reach out and grab his arm, pulling him back down, into my lap.

"No…dude, it's okay." I start. "I…I kinda like it." He goes even redder than me. He scoots away, staring into my eyes, his pupils contracted back down to normal size.

"I…I've liked you…for, like…a really long time now," he starts what I assume will quickly become a Feelings Jam. "And…if that wasn't pretty fucking obvious by now, I must be fucking horrendous at dropping hints."

"Dude I…" he stops me.

"Don't say anything. Just let me get all this off my chest." I shut my mouth, waiting for him to finish. "I think it started in sixth grade. Literally the day I moved here." He sighs, his kitten ears lowering. "It was in Phys Ed. We would run laps, and you would be running, and I would be _amazed_ at the way you moved. I stared at you the entire run, and if you gave even the slightest hint of noticing, I would always trip over myself. Then, in seventh grade, you talked to me. I was so jittery, man. The love of my fucking life was talking to me. Because he wanted to." He smiled meekly at me, my head cocked, a slight smile spreading across my face, the story making me fall for him even harder. "I don't even know what it was about, but I remember you insulting my beanie. I'm still mad at you for that, by the way." He socks me in the arm, playfully, and giggles. "Anyway, we were talking, and I wasn't listening, and I was just watching your lips move and thinking about…nevermind. We started hanging out, and we became super close."

"Yeah, dude. I was there for those five years."

He snort-laughed, his blush returning. "So…here we are. I'm confessing the way I've felt about your for years now, at you're just sitting there, stoic and calm, like always." He finishes and I pat him on the back. "And, if you don't feel the same way, I get-"

I cut him off. "Except I do. I like you a lot. I've been completely oblivious to it until you started kissing me, and when that happened, I realized. Why I always sighed when you talked. Why I always smiled when I was around you. Why my heart tap-danced in my chest when you gave me that shy fucking smile—see!? You're doing it now!" I pushed him to the floor, and by that time we were both laughing our asses off. The whole sexual situation had kind of dissipated, and now it was more or less back to normal, John and I being stupid sophomore best bros. I liked it this way. John and me. Bros. Bros who can kiss. Yeah. I liked this. This was good. We shared a chuckle and John sprawled out next to me. We turned the TV back on and started narrating a Chaplan film.

 **Don't worry guys! This isn't the end! There will be plenty more to come! Fluff, angst, maybe even a little smut uwu. Hang tight!**


End file.
